Well-meaning parents are at the point of crisis because, despite their best efforts, their children are not growing into the people they want them to be. And there, according to Dr. Philip Dembo, lies the problem. Even the best parents are capable of smothering their children and inhibiting growth in their lives. This happens because the child’s needs are often overlooked in favor of the parents’ agenda. As a solution, Dr. Dembo offers simple strategies that reframe the real purpose of parenting and gives each family and child their own salvation.
Real Purpose of Parenting:
The Book You Wish Your Parents Read
Personal note- Have been listening to this book over the years, (have an audio book version)
The application gives useful insights into family dynamics.
FOR SINGLE PARENT- OR BLENDED FAMILIES..the type of situation in which one spouse lives with the children alone. We have our own lives. As long distance skype parents many Overseas Foreign Workers are in touch with their lives and can shape the destinies of their children in known and unknown ways.
A NOTE ON FAMILY DYNAMICS
Excerpt from Chapter 6
Rose Tyler was the third and youngest of three children. Her family was a high achieving family. When her two elder siblings moved on to college, Rose, at 16 was finally not able to hide behind the shadow of her elder siblings. The parents-Jo Ann and Peter Tyler-both high achieving parents, had put their three children to expensive private schools. They were well known in the community. Rose felt that she had to switch from her current Private school to a Public school where her friends studied. Both parents were against this choice. Rose felt that she would never have a voice, and felt stifled. But she managed to voice her opinion. The mother Jo-Ann decided to have a look at the new proposed Public school to see if the courses offered would match those offered in her current private school. Also she wanted to meet the Counselor of the Current Private school to know if her changing schools would hurt her possibilities in college.
Jo Ann found that the public school offered good courses
The Private school counsellor said that as Rose had good grades, changing schools will not affect her chances in college. However, if Rose did not like her new school, she would have to stay till she graduated.
The parents then left the choice to their daughter Rose. She had tears in her eyes. Earlier she had the fear of never having a voice of her own. Now she had the fear of making a life changing decision on her own.
Rose(daughter)- I know that you want me to stay in the present school
Jo-Ann(The Mother)- We love you more than our need for you to do what we think is right. We do not need to agree with you to be able to support whatever decision you make
Rose decided to go to the New Public school.
Both parents and their daughter went through a process of change in family dynamics. Many things which were left unsaid were conveyed due to this process.
- Have you ever faced such a dilemma with your child
- Do you remember your parents ever forcing their choices on you
Describe your feelings, and how it affected your relation to each other.